


The Heart Takes Time

by royal_chandler



Category: One Life to Live
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-10
Updated: 2010-08-10
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royal_chandler/pseuds/royal_chandler
Summary: James turns to Starr after finding out about Inez and Nate.





	The Heart Takes Time

Starr knows that she shouldn't be here but she hadn't been able to fight the gut-feeling that had claimed her when she got the text from James.

_I need to see you. Meet me at the park. Please._

So she'd left Cole, claiming that the message had been from her mom and found her way here, where she and James had first met.

He's sitting on the table's bench, staring off into sunset and Starr almost doesn't want to disturb him.

"Hey," she says softly, getting his attention.

It's when he turns to her that she sees his forlorn expression, the heaviness in his face. Starr can hardly process it before he's throwing himself into her arms; she knows that she's not imagining the tears that come in contact with her skin.

Jame's a lot taller than her and it should feel awkward because of all that's happened between them recently but in the back of her mind, Starr notes how well they seem to fit together.

She tightens her arms around him. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," he mumbles against her shoulder, the sadness in his voice breaking Starr's heart. "I just—I needed to see you. I know what I said earlier..."

Starr quickly shushes him, drawing back to lock eyes with him so that he'd understand. She reaches up to brush the wet streaks from his face. "Don't worry about that alright? That doesn't matter right now. Just tell me what I can do."

"Be here with me?" James asks. Before she can respond, he adds, "Like a friend, I mean. You're the only one I've got."

Guilt stabs at Starr when she catches James readying himself for rejection. Immediately, she assures him. "Of course. C'mon." Grabbing his hand, she walks them back over to the table, both of them taking a seat. "Talk to me, James."

James laughs dryly. "I don't know where to start. It's all so messed up."

"The beginning's always good." She squeezes his hand lightly and offers what she hopes to be an encouraging smile.

It seems to do the trick.

"After I saw you, I went back to my apartment and a little while later there was a knock at the door," James begins with a shaky breath. "It was—it feels so weird to say this but it was my mom."

"Wait. What?" Starr replies, unable to contain her shock.

"That was my first thought, too, Twinkle," James tells her with an expression that isn't happy but it's not too sad either.

Shaking her head, Starr starts, "I don't get it. I thought that you didn't know your mom. She left when you were little."

"I didn't," James nods. "And before today, I wouldn't have been able to even recognize her. Before today, I didn't recognize her." He pauses thoughtfully, finishing with, "Starr, my mom is Inez Salinger."

The surname sounds familiar and it's only a few seconds before Starr puts things together. "Salinger? As in Nate Salinger?"

"Yeah."

The silence stretches for moments that seem like forever. Having a tough time of wrapping her own head around it, Starr can only imagine how much trouble James is having digesting this new bit of information. "How do you know?"

"Bobby confirmed it." The phrase comes out as though it's the vilest thing that James has ever tasted. "Turns out that my dear old brother knew that my mom was in town and had no plans to tell me."

"Oh no," Starr says, a sudden realization hitting her.

"What?"

"I knew that your mom was here."

Confusion sets in James' features. "What are you talking about, Starr? How could you have possibly known?"

"My friend Langston talked to Ford the other day and she was telling me all about it. She mentioned that your brother had just gotten into an argument with his mom. _Your_ mom." She gazes at him regretfully. "James, I didn't think anything of it until now." Starr doesn't tell James how she'd been too focused on berating Ford and how that had turned into her having to defend herself against Langston's insistence that she had feelings for the younger Ford brother. "I'm so sorry. That was so stupid of me."

The brown gaze that James turns on her is intense and leaves no room for argument. "Don't apologize to me. You don't have to. Especially you...Starr, never you."

Starr doesn't want to think about the power that that statement gives her. Instead she questions, "What else happened? What did she say to you?"

James attempts to make the sniffling quiet but Starr hears it and sees his eyes start to well up once more. "She told us about why she had to leave. She was pregnant and my dad thought that the baby wasn't his so he kicked her out. He would have killed her. And Nate, had they stayed."

Maternal instinct kicks in and anger fills Starr. "So she left you and Ford alone? To fend for yourselves against a monster?"

"My dad's a powerful guy, Starr. Or was. He had connections all throughout Dayton. She had no chance against him," James explains.

"I don't get it," Starr says fiercely. "I'm sorry but I don't. How could she do that to you? I could never—someone would have to pry Hope from my cold, dead hands."

"I know." James says. Starr can swear that she hears pride in his voice. "The situation's not really the same though. She could have stayed and been killed and that wouldn't have helped things any. She left because she felt like she had to. Lesser of two evils, I guess." His thumb brushes against the back of her hand and Starr can't tell if he's aware of it. Hesitantly, James admits, "She left and now we're all here to talk about it. It could have turned out a lot worse."

Starr tries to picture her life without James and it's unnerving, how utterly impossible the feat is. She sighs, reluctantly conceding. "Good thing that it didn't. I just don't know how you can be so understanding, James. You never cease to amaze me." Feeling as though she's said too much, Starr lightly adds, "It's not my place, really but I'm still not her biggest fan."

A hint of a smile graces his lips and stops Starr's heart temporarily. "I appreciate it, Twinkle."

"Do you know what you want to do?"

"Not yet. According to Bobby, she wants a chance to start over. All four of us. I'm nowhere near ready for that. I can hardly think past the next few minutes." He considers her, "Well there is one thing that I know I need to do."

"What's that?"

"Apologize for earlier today. I promised to stay away and I didn't keep to my promise."

"James..."

"You make it really hard, Starr," He confesses on a whisper. His grip on her hand loosens and he settles his own hand on his lap. "I'm trying. I do try."

Starr laughs awkwardly. "I have no clue what you see in me."

"A lot of things," James answers. "Everything that you no longer do. But I'm going to let you figure out what those are." Clearing his throat and blinking back tears, he continues with, "You should get back to your daughter and Cole. I've taken you away from them long enough."

And Starr's not ready to argue that or insist different. Somewhere down deep she knows that James Ford will change her life. That he'll be there when she gets to where he currently is. However, they both know that time's not now. "I don't want to leave you."

"Trust me, I can see that." His smile stretches wider and brighter against as the sun continues to sink. "I'll be okay."

Starr gets up slowly. Nerves in her stomach but determined to voice her next words, she tells him, "It probably tore her apart to walk away from Ford and you. As a mom, I can tell you that she never stopped loving you guys. I can't tell you how to feel because I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. But I can sympathize with your mom on one thing."

"What's that?" James ask.

"She has you in her life right now. I get why she can't let go."

And with that, Starr walks away, ignoring the need to stay.

**fin**


End file.
